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He skypes me, She skypes me not !
Unfortunately there are no flowers to pick to answer this immortal question.
Back in the day it was a very strange occurrence for people to meet and find love on the internet.
People were often seen as the lost and lonely of the world, who were either not attractive or interesting enough to find love in the normal fashion. But let’s face it the normal fashion was narrowed down to meeting in a pub or nightclub, a work colleague, or friend of a friend or relative. Often such experiences resulting in many hits and misses throughout our dating lives. So speed date yourself to present day and we find that in the most part internet relationships rule. With many sites offering services to find that one special person that completes you, whether physically with ‘adult friend finder’ or mentally with ‘guardian dating’ Skype being completely free seems to be high up there in the table of dating mediums. I guess the way to look at internet relationships is like looking at a supermarket. The people are organised by profile, room type, and camera quality. If you are looking for someone who will travel the world with you, you can look for a room discussing travel and engage in conversations about subjects that mean something to you. You can also start chatting to people based on their profiles, listing similar interests to you. I’ll admit it’s going to be pretty hard to find a guy who likes flower arranging in the real world. Finally webcam – the mother of all inventions that takes away the fear of meeting the 60-year-old, balding man who claimed to be 29 and looks like brad pitt! You can see the people you are talking to directly, see their mannerisms and their physical appearance, and so are able to feel reassured that they are the 5’9” medium build 40-year-old they said they were.
So you have found the man/woman who looks like the person of your dreams, this as with in person meeting brings up even more issues. Are they ‘real’? You know what they look like but are they really a spy for MI5 with a licence to kill? Or more likely a store assistant with a licence to swipe a bar code! This you have to work out yourself by being web wise. Skype and such programs allows people to come out of themselves, it’s so much easier to be who you want to be without fear or judgement when the people you are interacting with aren’t right in front of your face. Without feeling intimidated people are often more themselves or the people they wish to be. Downside being people still feel the need to impress, and will often exaggerate! or downright lie about who they are or what they do. This also includes the camsexers and perverts of the internet (to be discussed later) and the heart breakers who just like the thrill of flirting while their wives/husbands are out at Asda doing the weekly shop. Be wise – ask questions, challenge them and have fun!! Skype can past the hours and lonely times that we all feel, but also entertain us with the great friendships we make with the most unlikely of friends (also to be discussed later) Some of the best laughs I have ever had have been on Skype!!
Finally just remember the rule of 10…..things online can be quite intense and friendships and relationships often more at a jet plane pace than the speed of ‘real life’. You can find out more about a person in 10 hours than you would in 10 days in the ‘real world’ and can fall in love within 10 days that may take you 10 weeks in the ‘real world’. And as with all downsides it seems online you can break up and fall out with these people within days or weeks of meeting them, purely because everything runs at the speed of 10. Follow my tips to help guide you through your Skype dating life!
•Always keep your chat history, that way you can check if their stories change or don’t make sense.
•Take your time! Don’t find yourself hanging around for them to go green and come online or sit waiting to see that pencil start moving! (not done that honest)
•Be realistic! If they are the person of your dreams think practically, it’s not so easy having a relationship with someone who lives in Australia when you live in Essex, London!
•Finally just be safe, remember that there are weirdos, perverts, and downright nasty people online. They will say ANYTHING to get what they want from you, and often do. Don’t give everything away about yourself so easily just because they like the same music, films and hobbies as you….. save something for if and when you meet in the ‘real world’ (to be discussed in DEPTH later lol)
Can you find the person of your dreams on Skype…..YES!! It truly is a wonderful tool that allows everybody from any walk of life to interact with people who in the ‘real world’ they many never have met. Just be safe and take your time, ask advice and share things with your friend…real and online and they will guide you along the way. If not ask me.
Rosalyn A. Scanlon signing off
